******* Job Application *******
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This is an actual Job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a Mc Donald's fast-food establishment in Florida...And they hired him because he was honest and funny!
Name: Greg Bulmash
Sex: not yet. still waiting for the right person.
Desired Position: company's president or vice president. But seriously, whatever is available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
Desired Salary: $185,000 a year plust stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severence package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
Education: yes, but ask me when I cross 25.
Last Position: target for middle management hostility.
Salary: less than what I'm worth.
Most Notable Achievement: my incredible collection of stolen pens.
Reason for leaving last Job: It sucked.
Hours available: any hours as long as they don't stop my schedule.
Preferred Hours: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
Do You Have Special Skill: yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
May We Contact Your Current Employer?: If I had one, would I be here?
Do You Have Any Physical Conditions That Would
Prohibit You from Lifting Up To 50 lbs: of what?
Do You have A Car: I think the more appropriate question here would be "do you have a car that runs?"
Have You Received Any Special Awards Or Recognition: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.
Do You Smoke?: on the Job no, on my breaks yes.
What Would You Like To Be Doing In Fiver Years Time: living in the Bahamas.
Do You Certify That The Above Is True And Complete
And To the Best Of Your Knowledge: yes. absolutely.
Sign Here: aries. but will change for extra pay.
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