Empire Rising: A Satirical History
By DAVID HORSEY
P-I EDITORIAL CARTOONIST
Part I
Our trip through history -- sorta -- begins as the days of Bilious Clintonius and his scheming wife, Hillaria, gave way to Dubbia, son of Bushius the Elder.-
Dubbia the Incoherent and his advisers have turned their gaze to another enemy -- the wicked king of the Saddamites.-
Rome won the war against the Saddamites but now finds itself locked in a long struggle against vicious rebels. Now, Dubbia the Incoherent faces a new threat at home: ascendant political rival Senator Kerriolanus.-
Dubbia is confronted by adversaries on all sides -- even among once-loyal advisers now were telling the world the consul had made idiotic and dangerous mistakes.-
Election Day approaches in the Roman Republic. Would the Senate pick Senator Kerriolanus to be the new consul or would it re-elect Dubbia the Incoherent?-
Fate has taken a hand and Dubbia faces a quandary that will ultimately bring him face to face with the gods.-
Dubbia confronts the gods about his legacy as the saga reaches its climax.-
Originally published Sept. 9,
Today, my fanciful chronicle of the Roman Republic reaches its climax.
The tale began as Dubbia the Incoherent rose to power, not on his own talents, but through the familiarity of his father's name and the guile of his cohort of handlers -- most particularly, Rove the Spinner and Dickchenius Maximus.
Succeeding Bilious Clintonius, Dubbia won election as consul. He sent his legions to war in Mesopotamia. He won a second election and stood at the pinnacle of power in Rome.
And then it began to unravel.
The war went badly. A natural disaster struck. The people turned on Dubbia and, one by one, his closest allies fell from grace.
Now, with his influence withering and his friends all gone, Dubbia must put his fate in the hands of those who control the fate of all mortals: the gods ...
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