Obese Doctors Urge Nation To Eat Three Meals A Meal
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Courtesy of: The Onion
April 19, 2006
Issue 42-16
http://theonion.com
--Satire--

Chicago--A coalition of morbidly obese physicians recommended Monday that Americans eat at least three full meals per meal, with particular emphasis on starches, meats, mayonnaises, and creamy centers.

"We're gravely concerned that Americans are consuming less than 2,000 calories per sitting, and are missing out on having heaping seconds and thirds,"

Said Dr. Henry Vance, 418-pound director of the Candy-Farley Memorial Center at Johns Dunkins University.

The doctors hope the new plan will be clearer and easier to follow than their previous effort, the "See-Food" Diet.