Ultimate Morons!

1. 'with a little help from our friends'
Police from Oakland, California spent 2 hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home.
After firing ten gas canisters,
officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting,
"Please come and give yourself up!!!"



2. 'what was Plan-B?'
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different ATM's, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own Bank Accounts!



3. 'The Getaway!'
A man walked into a Topeka, kansas Kwik-Stop, and asked for all the Money in the Cash Register. Apparently the take was too small, so he tied up the Store Clerk, and worked the counter himself for 3 hours until police showed up and arrested him.



4. 'Did I Say That?'
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words,
"give me all your money or I'll shoot!"
the man shouted, "that's not what I said!"



5. 'Are we communicating?'
A man spoke frantically into the phone,
"my wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the Doctor asked,
"no!" the man shouted,
"this is her husband!"



6. 'Not the sharpest tool in the shed!'
In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America Branch without a weapon.
King used his thumb and index finger to simulate a gun,
but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.